i was asked whether i thought i was a good person. i said, yes, i would seem to myself like a good person, if i wasnt me, but that i felt i was really more machiavellian and self-centred in actuality. that im simply a better thespian.

and today, i was forced to think about it again.

i thought i was helping. i was trying to help. i thought it would all be for the better. but when i look back now, i cant help but wonder: was i actually just doing it all for myself? am i so good a thespian that i managed to deceive myself? does this not represent the worst stage of moral degradation - that i am not even conscious of evil anymore?

im sorry geoff. chester. claire. i didnt mean for things to turn out this way.

and to think, i always thought that my best trait was my self-awareness.