i got a pretty flower today, though of course, it wasn't half as pretty as the sender.
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my ride home today was more than an hour, during which i got steadily grumpier. didn't help that it was a blasted nokia bus, so i had to endure the stop-go-stop-go while sitting facing sideways. until this one moment, when the lady sitting opposite me, this lady who had all along matched me in grumpiness, read an incoming text message and just smiled to herself. i couldnt help but smile too.
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but then again, by all rational reckoning i shouldnt have done it. i feel terribly wretched.
"it is the 12th of march 2009, 1521 hours. he walks up to the fourth floor, looks over the railing and jumps. he dies."
you always say "oh vince, don't say what you don't mean." i'm beginning to think that that's a bad idea. and i pray that you, wherever you are, whatever it is you're doing - sleeping, i hope - are alright.
there are just so many things flooding my head when i think about you, like now. everyday i have more things that i need to tell you, but never do we actually talk. you're busy i suppose, i understand. not so busy that you can't talk, of course, but i will rather wait like i always do. it's not fair to you to have to mollycoddle me.
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and then there's you. dammit, i dont want to write anything anymore.
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and i don't know how to be fine when i'm not.